A very cranky old man was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.

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A very cranky old man was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.
He gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took him away, complaining and criticizing throughout the process.
When he appeared before the judge, the judge asked what he had stolen from the store.
The man defiantly replied, “Just a stupid can of peaches.”
The judge then asked why he had done it.

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He replied, “I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store.”
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. He replied, “Nine, but what do you care about that?”
The judge patiently said, “Well, sir, because I’m going to give you nine days in jail — one day for each peach.”
As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the man’s long-suffering wife raised her hand and asked if she might speak.
The judge said, “Yes, what do you have to add?”
The wife said, “Your Honor, he also stole a can of peas.”